Rooted Together: Resources

When your tween comes to you for help, it’s important to understand how they want to be supported. Here are a few questions to guide the conversation and give them what they need in the moment:

• How can I best support you right now?

• Would you like me to just listen?

• Do you want me to offer suggestions?

• Would you like me to take action?

These questions empower your tween to express their needs and help you respond in a way that makes them feel truly heard and supported.

Tweens can have intense feelings they may not yet know how to handle. Let them know it's okay to feel this way and offer them a safe space to express those emotions.

You might say:
"I know you're feeling big emotions right now, and it's okay to feel them. Please take the time and space you need to feel all those feelings. I'll be here if and when you're ready to talk."

By encouraging your tween to take the space they need to process their emotions, you're teaching them an important skill—how to protect their emotional well-being. Girls are often taught to suppress their emotions for the sake of others, but this empowers them to honor their feelings and take care of themselves fully.

Receiving feedback can be tough, whether it’s coming from your tween or you. Sometimes, it feels like they’re pushing back against everything you suggest, and other times, it’s us as parents who struggle to hear their feedback. Here are a few ways to approach these moments:

• Remind them (and yourself): "We’re on the same team. I share feedback because I believe in you and know what you’re capable of, not to criticize you."

• Ask: "Is there a different way you’d like me to share my thoughts?"

• Offer: "What can I do differently so you feel like we’re working through this together?"

By framing feedback as support, you foster a sense of collaboration and mutual respect, which strengthens your connection.